Me, Myself and my Minivan

They say confession is good for the soul, so here is mine…I love my minivan.

Okay, I said it.

I realize this admission confirms what my sisters always said about me: I'm just not that cool. That's fine with me. My minivan and I can take it. It's my badge of honor that announces to the world each and every day, I am a mom and I am proud!

Now driving a minivan may not seem like such a big feat, but let me explain a few things. First, I did not even learn to drive till I was 35, and I did that only because we were going to be moving to the suburbs where I was raised.

Unlike Manhattan and Queens, my former homes, driving on Long Island is a necessity. Overcoming my fear to drive once seemed impossible, but I did it. It required many driving lessons and a teacher that became a candidate for sainthood, but it's an accomplishment that I'm very proud of.

Second, I never thought I would have enough children to warrant a minivan. Children did not come easily to my husband and me, so once I had my second child I thought we were done.

Life had other plans. I got the happiest shock of my life when after two fertility assisted babies I found myself pregnant with our third child at 39.

For some reason, the minute you find out you will have more than two children, there is an amazing amount of pressure to announce this miracle by the car you drive.

Most of this pressure came from my parents, who thought it was practically child abuse to put their grandchildren in anything less.

This from the same people who took my two sisters and me on more family trips than I care to remember stuffed in the backseat of my father’s green Volvo.

I wish I could properly describe the five hour trips home we would make from my uncle’s dairy farm with my sister Sandy's feet under my butt. The smell of cow manure packed into bags and put into the trunk for my fathers vegetable garden. Sitting in the backseat with a very full bladder because my parents were bound and determined to only make two pit stops per car trip upstate.

Good times indeed.

Yes, now that they are grandparents they sing a very different tune. They get upset at me if I don't have pillows and blankets in the car when I take the kids home from their house. The house that is only six blocks from mine.

Oh how times have changed. But I digress.

Every time I get behind the wheel of my Mom-mobile I get an odd sense of pride. I did it. I became a mom. Look at my dirty minivan with cookies smashed in the carpet: I have arrived.

That silly sense of pride and even joy gets me through my toughest days.

Days when getting everyone into the car becomes a second job. Or when I imagine snapping my 12 year-old’s pants on his wedding day because the 10 years of occupational therapy seems to have done little to help his fine motor issues.

Times when I get tired of hearing my own voice telling my little dears the same things over and over again. The painful days when I realize that my beautiful daughter with a brain disorder is probably never going to be able to live on her own.

I hear the arguing, the singing, and the laughter coming from the backseat and I can’t help but feel blessed and grateful.

There were times I really thought that the life and the children I love so much would never be mine. There were so many obstacles to overcome. Yet, I did it.

I have become the mom that I always wanted to be.

My minivan is a tangible reminder that all the things I once thought were impossible are not impossible at all.



Authors note: The original version of this essay was first published on Momster.com in November, 2010 where I wrote it under the name BlessedMomof3. This version has been altered slightly. It is the first time I have put it on Blogspot.

Lessons Learned from my Dishwasher

I can't believe it, but it's been almost a year since I went to take a rare nap one afternoon and woke up to a mini disaster.

I've always had a hard time sleeping, even as a child. As a mother to three children, all who have some challenges, it's almost impossible. My girlfriends kept telling me that once all three kids were in school full time, I should get some sleep. It seems easy and logical, but how?

Experience has taught me when I let my guard down for a minute, that is the time the nurse calls me to pick up a sick child, or one of our parents is having a medical emergency or I oversleep and miss the bus dropping off one of the kids.

But a year ago, a miracle occurred and I managed to fall asleep--for almost an hour.

As I went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee before the kids got home, I heard what I thought was water running. As I entered the kitchen, I was greeted by a flood of almost biblical proportions coming from my eight year-old dishwasher.

The water wouldn't stop. Just when I thought I had it cleaned up, the dishwasher would start up again. Water was seeping into the basement. I was running up and down the stairs. It was a mess.

Frantically I called my dad and asked him to bring towels because I had used my large supply. Finally it occurred to me to turn off the water. My dad, who is so proficient at fixing nearly everything that my husband calls him "Yoda" declared the dishwasher officially dead. Joe and I bought a new one the next day.

My brand new and not inexpensive dishwasher started acting up the night it was installed. It worked perfectly when the men set it up, but about three hours it's true demonic personality took over. It would beep and hum and light up like a Christmas tree. This would occur at all hours of the day and night. There was no pattern to when it would work or just beep and blink.

The repairman came once, twice, three times. The dishwasher worked perfectly each time he left. Then once his truck pulled out of our driveway, all hell would break loose.

After the fourth time and a new part it finally settled down. It sometimes still acts up but I now know how to calm the savage beast.

As I was thinking about my soon to be one-year anniversary with my possessed appliance, I realized that as well as being a great name for my blog, this silly dishwasher has taught me some very important lessons.

First lesson: Do not overload the machine. 

This seems pretty obvious, but somehow it's a lesson I never seem to learn with both myself and my dishwasher. It's just so easy too overload myself, without thinking. The problem is, just like the dishwasher, when I stuff too much in at one time, there is always something that gets neglected. Most of the time it's me.

This can be verified by any doctor or dentist that I make an appointment with and then cancel because something has come up.

Second lesson: The dishwasher needed to be on level ground so that it could work properly.

This was not discovered till our second repair appointment. Apparently our kitchen floor is not level. This meant the dishwasher was not balanced properly.

I too need to be on level ground to be there for my family.This is easier said than done. Balance has never been my forte in life.

This was confirmed one Saturday a few years ago. It was an extremely crazy time in our lives. Our daughter, Lizzy, who has a undiagnosed brain disorder, was having symptoms that was setting off all kinds of scary bells to some of the top specialists in Manhattan. I was getting calls at odd hours of the day and night scaring the life out of me. Some life threatening conditions were being thrown around. We were terrified.

I was also dealing with every other kind of crisis one could deal with at the same time. Parents being sick, the other children's issues rearing their head and the middle of the holiday season.

My husband was out getting my mini-van repaired because I sheered off my passenger side mirror when I hit a repair truck while I was running from picking up Peter at pre-school, only to find out that Lizzy had to be picked up at her school because she was throwing up. Thankfully my mirror was the only thing damaged that day. Joe called to let me know what was going on with the van.

I'm pretty calm and pride myself on not really loosing it too often with my kids. I accomplish some of this by having spent the equivalent of a small house on therapy. The time I spend talking to someone who is paid to listen really helps keep me balanced. Of course with everything going on I barely had a chance to breathe not to mention keeping something like a therapy appointment.

That Saturday I was snapping at the kids in a way I just hadn't before. I overheard Tom pick up the phone and say to his father:"Quick dad get home. Mom has flipped."

This leads nicely to my third lesson from the dishwasher: If something is wrong, make noise.

Unfortunately my family does not have the power to read my mind, as much as I would like them to. If I need help I need to tell someone. Letting my husband know wouldn't be a bad idea.

Unless there's a flood in my kitchen or some other crisis, I really hate asking for help. Being a bit of a control freak I find it easier to do the job myself rather than explain how to do it.

I'm working on this. I have been pleasantly surprised to find out that I'm not the only human in the world who can make dinner or brush Lizzy's hair.

I love being a mother. It truly is something I adore doing and I feel as if I'm really good at it. I adore my children and my husband. But, I'm a human as much as I would like to believe I'm not. I need to do a much better job of caring for myself.

Who would of have thought that one possessed dishwasher could teach me so much?
　
　

Remembering

Some days I'll never forget. The events are so etched in my memory I can at once be brought back to the exact feelings I experienced. My wedding day, and the births of my three children are the good ones.

Then there are the bad days, and September 11, 2001, may be the worst of all. The panic and grief overwhelmed me as I watched the towers burn and fall on that horrible Tuesday 10 years ago.

The first memory is that it was a gorgeous late summer day in New York. We had been in our new home just a few weeks, and everything still had a new scent to it. The paint was fresh and the walls were clean and waiting to be adorned with pictures and decorations.

It was also an extremely stressful period in our life, with some of my worst fears coming true.

Five days after we closed on the house, my husband was laid off from his job. Anyone would panic, but for us, it was our personal nightmare come true.

I was five months pregnant with our second child, and the pregnancy was getting complicated. I had just switched from my regular ob-gyn to a high risk pregnancy practice. I was going to need to be very careful and get as much rest as a mom with a two-year-old and a new house could.

Despite all the turmoil, I woke up that beautiful September morning feeling happy.

My husband is a financial writer, and some freelance work was beginning to come in. A few days earlier, he had a one-day assignment at the New York Stock Exchange, and he stopped in a coffee shop in the World Trade Center to go over his notes before coming home.

Joe was in his home office interviewing a source for a story. The next day he was supposed to fly down to Washington to cover a conference. I loved having him around. It seemed like I was really going to need help, and maybe it was working out for the best that he was freelancing now.

I was also enjoying living six blocks from my parents. I had lived in Manhattan and Queens for 18 years. It had been a long time since I was able to see my parents on a regular basis. I could hear my mom and then-two-year-old Tom playing in the sun room and listening to Blues Clues.

Gratitude filled me as I was making Tom's new bed and looking at his big boy room. The clouds my sister and brother-in-law had just painted a week ago were finally dry, and I loved the new airplane border.

I was pregnant. We had a lovely house. We still had some savings left. Joe was getting work. We would be okay. The sun was shining. The radio was playing the oldies music I loved. Life was good.

As I was finishing making the bed and arranging animals on Tom's bed, the music stopped and the news cut into the broadcast. The announcer said a plane had hit the World Trade Center. My mind immediately downplayed it. I'm a born and raised New Yorker and do not jump to conclusions or panic easily. I figured it was a small private plane that got into some odd trouble.

Not forgetting my assistant skills from my working days, I wrote a quick note to my husband and put it in front of him as he was talking on the phone: Two planes hit the World Trade Center.

He looked at me and said something to the person he was interviewing.

I ran into the sun room where my mother and Tom were playing. I switched the TV to a news channel. All of a sudden, there was President Bush telling the world that two commercial airlines had hit the World Trade Center, apparently the work of terrorists. Our country was under attack.

The three of us were glued to the TV.

Then the phone started to ring.

People calling to see where Joe was. People calling to see if we heard from my sisters and brother in-law, all who worked in various offices around midtown Manhattan.

My sister worked right by Grand Central Station and was panicked. There was talk of evacuating office buildings. No one knew if there would be another attack, or when or where it would be. Everyone felt vulnerable.

At some point, we heard news about the plane crashing into the Pentagon. TV reporters said people were jumping from the towers. I could only imagine the terror inside.

I know Lower Manhattan pretty well. I had worked in the area for a while and visited the World Trade Center on many occasions. Joe and I dined at Windows on the World for our fifth anniversary and spent the weekend at the Marriott Hotel adjacent to the towers.

Thoughts raced through my head as I watched the nightmare unfolding on TV.

We started going through a list of the people we knew and where they worked. Who did we know who worked in or around the Towers? Are they safe? More phone calls.

Joe, my mother, and I were just stunned as we watched the reports come in. Tom must have heard something about people jumping from the buildings because for weeks afterward Tom would say "People jumped from buildings."

After what seemed like an eternity transifxed to the horror on the screen, the unthinkable happened--the World Trade Center's south tower collapsed into a massive smoke cloud.

None of us could absorb the shock. For close to half an hour, we watched the horror continue to unfold with the north tower. Then the unthinkable became all too real for the second time in 30 minutes.

With both towers of the Trade Center gone, there was this odd void in the Lower Manhattan skyline that didn't belong there. What had just happened was just too much to process. It seemed as if the world had ended and we were watching it on television. Safe and sound in the suburbs. My friends and family in the city.

Some time in the next hour came the report of Flight 93 crashing in Pennsylvania.

Watching the towers fall as if they were made of Tinker Toys and Legos is something I will never forget. The thought of all the people in the building, gone forever. I was fixated on the horrible thought of what their families were gowing through. All that death. All those firemen, police officers, and paramedics just doing their jobs. All of them rushing into a nightmare to help others.

Out in the suburbs, the streets were quiet. People didn't talk much. We couldn't get through to anyone in the city and had no idea where my sisters and brother-in-law were.

Every so often a plane would fly over and send pure panic down our spines.

My father left his office early, and my parents, Joe, and I just continued watching the news as I continued doing for weeks after.

I would watch women and men show pictures of their loved ones, hoping that someone would be able to tell them anything.

TV reporters I had watched for years were crying and visibly shaken as I had never seen them before.


The world had changed.

I was terrified for my son and the baby I was carrying. What kind of world was I bringing them into?

A stuffed lamb for our oldest son and one of his favoritie books, The Runaway Bunny, were gifts from a former colleague of my husband who had been at a conference in the north tower that morning. Other co-workers got a cell phone call from him as he said he and other conference attendees had found a stairwell and were trying to get to safety. That was the last communication with him.

Thankfully, our lives were not touched directly. My family was safe, and our closest friends were unharmed. But it was hard to feel grateful, when all around us people were suffering.

Four months later our daughter was born on January 11. Five weeks after we brought her home from the hospital, my husband started a new job. We all were encouraged to move on yet remember. Life went on.

Yet that day and the days that followed are etched in my consciousness. I still think about everyone who was lost and the memorials that are held every September. My heart aches for all the lives that were lost that day, and all the lives that have been lost since because of that day.

Today we live in a world where terrorist threats seem common, and young men and women who should be in college, starting jobs, or with their families are now fighting two wars.

The one thing I try to impart to my children about September 11, is that although we saw what real evil could cause on that horrible day, we also witnessed many more examples of what real love and sacrifice looked like. In the end, good triumphed over evil.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

The mood in our house right now reminds me of my all-time favorite Staples TV commercial. The spot goes back about 20 years and features the festive Christmas song,"It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year."

The commercial features an ecstatic father shopping for school supplies with his children. The children are slowly following behind, looking as if they are headed for death row.

The voice-over in the commercial says, "They're going back!"

Tuesday is the first day of school in our little corner of the world. The first bus will arrive around 7:15, and off Lizzy will go to third grade. The second bus shows up at 7:35 to take my baby Peter away to first grade.

Less than an hour later, I'll take my oldest, Tom, to middle school for seventh grade.

Oh Happy Day!

Or is it?

Now I realize that if you happen to be reading this while nursing one baby and holding another little one out of harm's way with your leg the idea of six hours without children sounds heavenly.

I'm not going to lie. It ain't bad.

But it wasn't what I thought it would be either.

I would talk to my friends whose children were at school full time and be envious. They would talk about being busier than they ever thought they would be, and I would smile and nod. Deep down I would think they really had the life. No children home, the ability to shop and do errands without anybody crying, melting down, or asking for Oreos.

I would usually have to cut short the phone call or visit. I either had to pick someone up from preschool or rescue someone from the top bunk bed because it seemed like a good idea to climb up but not so much fun climbing down.

Last year Peter started full-time kindergarten. I had visions of long lunches, long workouts at the gym, cleaning rooms that haven't been cleaned since I had him in 2005.

Turns out, my friends were right. Those six hours go fast!

With the start of school comes all that homework. I'm not talking about the children's homework. I fully accept my role as homework cop. I'm grateful that I'm the one who gets to torture them and go over their weekly spelling lists.

I'm talking about the mommy homework.

There's an endless series of forms to fill out and notices to keep track of for three kids, in three different schools. Then I have to get prescriptions for all three kids for occupational and physical therapy. After that I have to trek back to the doctors office because the original dates on the prescriptions were wrong.

Perhaps the biggest assignment is delivering the EpiPen, Benadryl, and inhaler to the nurse at Tom's school to treat emergency flare-ups of Tom's allergies and asthma.

Did I mention the notes from therapists and teachers? What about the endless teacher conferences? Or the stream of checks for PTA dues, class dues, gifts for teachers, class trips, subscriptions for various class magazines, and a million other things.

I'm tired just thinking of what's in store.

Next come the phone calls I dread.

I have to say I really enjoy the summer break from the panic I feel each time the phone rings. Once school starts all that changes. Now when the phone rings, I have a pretty decent chance of finding out that someone bumped their head, fell asleep in the middle of class, or is having an allergic reaction.

The one I dread most is the yo-yo syndrome. This is when you send your little darling to school and the nurse calls to tell you that the child who looked perfectly healthy two hours earlier while he was torturing his brother is now sick as a dog.

Sometimes I get to enjoy a little pocket of time. I was able to start my blog once all three kids were in school, and I love being a full-fledged mommy blogger. I even have had the occasional long lunch or coffee date with a friend. It's times like this that I feel extremely blessed and grateful for the life I have.

I like the crazy runaround pace of being an at home mom. Part of me is just wired for chaos. My house is cleaner when I have 10 minutes to clean it rather than when I have three hours.

The one real downside is that I'm going to miss my kids.

Please don't tell them that. It will spoil my image. But I had a wonderful summer with them, especially my oldest, Tom.

For the first time in six years, Tom didn't go to the full-day summer camp the school district has for children who need year-round academic support. His dyslexia always made him eligible to attend, and he always enjoyed it. He would spend the morning in the typical day camp and the afternoon working on his academic issues.

Tom did so well in sixth grade he was no longer eligible. While Lizzy and Peter were off to camp having a ball, I had Tom all to myself. For the first time since he was a baby I had some real one-on-one time with him. I loved it.

We would spend the morning walking with my dad, and then he would swim with friends or just hang out with them. Some days we would go for sushi or to the movies. I saw The Planet of Apes, Captain America, and The Zookeeper. All were movies I would never have attended had I not had a 12-year-old boy. I had a blast.

Now it's all over. There are school supplies to separate and put in backpacks, pencils to sharpen, notes to write to teachers, and chaos to deal with.

As much as I love to complain, I am eternally grateful for my beautiful family.

But as Peter is now asking for popcorn for the 20th time in five minutes, the thought that I may be able to finish a thought come Tuesday has me agreeing with the Staples commercial: It is the most wonderful time of the year! 

Distance Learning MBA Institutes Delhi

Distance Learning MBA Colleges in Delhi | Distance Learning MBA Programs In Delhi | How to take Admission in Distance MBA course in Delhi

Delhi is not only a capital of India but It's also a capital of Management Education. There are hundreds of MBA colleges around Delhi/NCR which are offering Distance Learning and Regular courses in Management. Colleges Like FMS Delhi, LBS Delhi, IIFT, IIF, IIT are top rank colleges in India providing world class regular MBA degree program. In Delhi there are also colleges/Universities like IGNOU, IMT Ghaziabad, Amity University, MD University which are pioneer in providing distance learning MBA programs in India.
Trend of doing a distance learning MBA degree program is increasing day by day among working executives and freshers, to encash this opportunity lots of international universities has also started promoting their distance learning MBA program in India. To help the working professionals and freshers we are providing some information about the best distance Learning MBA courses in Delhi.


1) IGNOU Distance Learning MBA Program

Indra Gandhi National Open University (IGNOU) is known for it's distance learning programs in India. IGNOU is one of the best university provides distance learning MBA program in India.
Graduate's and No-Graduate's both can apply for IGNOU MBA program (See The Eligibility criteria on IGNOU's website) , IGNOU takes admission through Open MAT (Entrance Test Conducted By IGNOU) which conducts twice a year. Admission in MBA program is done based on the score obtain by the student in Open MAT exam.

2) IMT Ghaziabad distance learning management program


IMT Ghaziabad is among the top colleges in India provides regular post graduate management programs. It also offers the distance learning management program for working professionals and students. IMT-CDL is recognised by Distance Education Council, Government of India. IMT ghaziabad offers post graduate management programs in diversified areas like HR, Marketing, Retail management, Export Management, Supply Chain management, Financial management etc. The fee of its various programs range between 20,000-25,000 per semester.

3) Amity university distance learning management program
Amity is a reputed university in Delhi-NCR proides various management and engineering programs in India. Amity also runs it's distance learning programs under Amity School of distance learning. as per their website Amity ranks No.1 in providing distance learning programs in India. Amity offers 3 years and 2 years distance learning MBA programs for students and working professionals. Fee for these courses is 51,000 INR.

There are many other univrsities and colleges as well like MD university Rohtak, Sikkim manipal University, symbiosis pune, ICFAI etc which are having their learning centers in Delhi-NCR.

Tag: Distance Learning MBA programs in Delhi, How to take admission in Distance learning MBA in delhi, Best distance learning colleges in delhi

When the Dishwasher's Happy, I'm Happy

Wow was I lucky!!! 

Last Friday the fabulous and fabulously talented Ro Little of "Mommy Blog Designs" http://www.mommyblogdesigns.com/ was offering a "Friday Blog Giveaway"! Being a big fan of Ro's and seeing some of my blogger friends get wonderful makeovers by her I was happy for a chance to win!


As I left my comment on her blog, I thought good, happy thoughts and then went on my merry way.


Well, with the excitement of hurricane Irene here in New York and loosing our power for three days I really hadn't given the great giveaway much thought. So imagine my surprise when I was finally able to go on my computer and found a very happy message from Ro telling me that I WON!!!


Look at my gorgeous web site!! My dishwasher has been so happy it hasn't acted out once all week!!!!! I'm thrilled!!


Being very curious, I wanted to learn a little bit more about this great lady, who I first met a few months ago on voiceBoks http://www.voiceboks.com/  when she had her first website "Mommy MindSpa" http://www.mommymindspa.com/  


Some might say it's not fair that Ro has been able to come up with not one, but two great ideas to make moms feel great!MommyMindSpa is Ro's site that helps moms take just a little time out of our day to remember ourselves!  And now with her new site, Mommy Blog Designs, Ro is helping our blogs look great as well.


On Mommy Blog Designs Ro showcases her Pretty Pre-Made Designs (they are really great) as well as giving some examples of the beautiful work she has done for others. Her slogan, Every mom deserves a pretty blog  sums up her philosophy perfectly.


It is in this vein of helping moms that Ro has also been working with Lexie Lane the founder of voiceBoks. This month Ro has been the first teacher in voiceBoks Blogger Ed series of events to help moms learn about the technical aspects of blogging.

Her two week series Crackin' the Blogger Code has been wonderful. She has answered some of our most pressing questions from how to make your blogger site look more like a wordpress site to how install specialty tabs. She makes it so sound so easy that even I have thought of attempting a trick or two. 


To make her work accessible Ro offers a few price points, starting with her Pretty Pre-made Designs for 39.00 and moving all the way up the ladder to the Classy Custom Design Total Site Make-Over.

She also offers an Al-a-Carte Menu for those who are looking for something specific such as a header or button. Her web site does an excellent and clear job of spelling out all that is included in each package and service.


I found myself very curious about how this happily married mom of three came up with these great ideas.

Ro is quick to admit she is not a professionally trained web designer. She describes herself as a cookie baking, soccer mom, who decided to start having some fun blogging.

Once she was hooked with her Mommy MindSpa site she started learning how to crack the codes and found that she could do anything she wanted on her own site. The progression to start to offer her services for a fee was natural.

If you are looking to pretty up your site go visit her at Mommy Blog Designs!! If you are looking for a minute to yourself and some great ideas, do yourself a favor and head over to Ro's wonderful Mommy Mindspa! You will not be disappointed!!

*Just a note: The giveaway I won on Ro's site had no strings attached. Ro did not require or even ask me to do a profile on her. I just really love her two sites and think she is a really great lady! Many thanks to her!! I love my new design!!